The secretary of the CFO of DUHS stopped in to see me today to offer condolences about Dad. While talking, I relayed to her the situation with Mom and she offered up a story that actually gave me a bit of hope.
One year ago from today, her mother died. Her father had previously had some moderate memory and behavioral issues. But after his wife’s death he immediately spiraled downward - losing a lot of weight, forgetting how to speak, forgetting that his wife died, not taking care of himself and always acting in an emotional and depressed manner. This got worse for some time, to the point that Sandy was ready to take a leave of absence to provide full time care after other friends and family started to strain.
But then, with time, he started to rebound. The depression and denial were replaced with some degree of understanding and acceptance. Slowly but surely he started to take responsibility for himself and his actions. He stopped blaming others when things went wrong and started paying attention to his daily schedule that is prepared for him each night. He mostly deals in the real world now, aware of what can and can not do. He lives alone and sticks to the schedule (Hardees breakfast, a walk, a prepared lunch, a nap, sitting on the porch). Sandy visits each evening to prepare his next day and he is happy to see her. I understand he still sometimes forgets which day he is on, and misplaces everything, starting with his glasses, but he copes now, rather than being depressed and accusatory. It was a long year, but he did eventually improve.
I know that their clinical conditions are not necessarily similar. But for every anecdote I told, Sandy had a similar one right back for me. What will Mom be like when her depression gives way to acceptance?
I also spoke to the people at the Hopkins Memory Center today. As you could imagine they have heard our story many times. If Mom were interested we would need a referral from Dr. Lavin, and he would have to submit all of her records. They have an OP center that does analysis, genetic assessments and research studies based on potential alternative treatments. Any chance that Mom would want to participate? It is covered by insurance!
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Outsprinkles
These are the people whose love and support get us through each day and who we owe so much. They also helped a little producing......
Almost all of the Offsprinkles
2 comments:
Jamie emailed me about a conversation that he had with a client today also. For seven years, he took care of his mother with Alzheimers after his father died. Like your lady, the stories can be eerily similar. It kind of makes you feel good that others have dealt/are dealing with this same situation and can relate. I think I am going to look into meetings of the local ALZ.org group in my area.
Keepin the faith - Levelle
If you can talk mom into it, and I'll take her.
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