Okay, I talked to her and told her our "plan". She was willing to call Mom and tell her that she had a room available (only one is available now...303 - near the tub/bathroom facing the front on the building at an angle) and ask her if she would like to come in.
It went a little more like this...
Linda introduced herself and thanked Mom for visiting BGT. Mom said, "I did?" Linda reminded her that she had come in with her son Michael and told her that she had a suite currently available. Would she like to come in? Mom said, "To be honest with you, my children are forcing me to move in. I'm not ready. I won't be for several months." Linda moved the conversation along by saying that perhaps Mom would like to at least come in and have lunch on Thursday. Sometimes people like to come in and get a feel for the place first and then they could "talk" (have the evaluation) after lunch. Linda said that she could see from the paperwork that mom had a daughter named Quinn who was her local contact since Michael was in Singapore. She would call Quinn to confirm that she could bring Mom in on Thursday. Mom said that she didn't know about Quinn, but one of her daughters would be available. Mom then told Linda that this was all her idea - BGT - because of its proximity to Villa Assumpta and how nice it looked. They closed with saying that they would meet on Thursday.
I think that that is all we can ask of Linda at this point. She didn't mention the TB test to mom, but it could be assumed that she did tell Quinn. Dr. Lavin's office said that it's not medically necessary to have it again, but if BGT requires it, then they will do it. Should Megan take her on Wednesday? Are we looking at a move this weekend? Do we think it's going to be a few weeks? The TB results are only good for 30 days and we've already missed that cut-off from the last time we were sure we could get her to move in.
It's going to be up to us to be the ones to tell mom when she is moving in. I think it was Quinn who said, she resolved and willing to actually moving in, it's the leaving that she is having a problem with. We need to work on that aspect of our approach.
Sooooo...I will take her to lunch on Thursday and later take her to John McLaughlin's party. Anyone want to join me?
Love always, Levelle
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Outsprinkles
These are the people whose love and support get us through each day and who we owe so much. They also helped a little producing......
Almost all of the Offsprinkles
5 comments:
I can go with you. I should be able to go to my office at another time.
I'm at Mom's now, and she and I just talked about the phone call. Her stance is that she wants a bigger room than what is available, which will give her a little more time here on her own. She also doesn't want to be on the third floor, as she is sure that is where the kooky people go.
I wish we could tell how long it we'd have to wait for a two room suite. I'd be willing to spend more time here myself if I knew she could have another month or so to get use to the idea. Sorry, I think this is very (too) fast. I guess that makes me the weakest link.
In my humble opinion Mom is never going 'to be ready' for this move, will never acknowledge that she is sick or in need of any care.
Megan, you are not the "weakest link". We all know this is an emotionally charged ordeal. The bottom line we have to remember is that she is getting weaker and that the AD can only get worse. Time is not on our side. We, of slightly sounder mind than Mom, need to take advantage of any time she brings up the subject of BG. We need to steer her toward the positives whenever we can. One thing we can tell her is that she needs to be in BG to get on the list for a one bedroom. We almost lucked into one, however Linda made it clear to Levelle and me that residents get first choice for bigger rooms. Stay strong. It will be alright.8-}...I like the sunglasses
One issue that we will always have is that Mom is likely never going to be well enough to 1) choose to go and 2) stay consistently alert and agreeable during the days-long process of getting applied, accepted and moved into a room, much less her preferred room.
We might be better off to continue the consistent, gentle pressure of seeking Mom's concurrence, but also to do whet we can to get the room now and get some of her things in there. If we tell her that she can stay at home for a while if she applies, gets the TB test and helps us set up the room, she might be willing.
Next step could be day trips to participate in functions and meet people, and to scrub her room. After that, maybe attend the weekday mass occasionally.
Who knows, maybe she'll want to spend the night after a while. Then we could offer to take her home to help us organize the house.
See, I'm still in left field where Quinn told me to stay.
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