Let 'er up easy

Ok... Sorry for the suspenseful delay in continuing my last blog. I couldn't further delay going to Mom's after the receiving the report of Quinn's conversation with Uncle Jim on Sunday afternoon. Here goes...

I left off with Mom stating her core belief that she is not ready for AL care. Anyone within earshot Friday night or all day Saturday heard this same thing vehemently and often from her. But by Sunday ,"Blessed Sunday" I'll ever call it, a great change was seen by my own eyes... no, maybe a miracle. Though Mom did not state so, I truly feel that Levelle's having brought Mom's own words of wisdom to her attention was the decisive deed.

Upon arrival Sunday, I unexpectedly found Mom to be calm, quite cheerful and working on weeding out the dining room desk. The windows were closed, it was hot and the whole room was a confused mess. But she stopped and we headed to the basement couch for a long chat. She asked me if I had heard the "news", well, I think she actually said "rumor". But she was telling me of her decision TO GO TO BRIGHTON GARDENS BECAUSE HER CHILDREN WANTED HER TO DO SO. She expressed no anger with us for forcing the issue and no longer spoke of being pressured into making the decision.

I really expected to find Mom depressed and physically drained. That was not the case. Her happiness was evident now that she has decided to discontinued the struggle over AL care. She really seemed to be relieved of any stress. She was quite happy and relaxed, albeit 'confused', and proceeded to tell me of her Sunday morning doings with Uncle Jim (or at times it was told as Michael or "somebody else") and Aunt Melmarie (or at times it was Megan or Quinn) over at the Mother House and Brighton Gardens. As told by Mom... she offered to take her siblings over to BG for a tour "to see where I will soon be living". The tour was self guided for the most part. They did not get into any private rooms but just toured the first floor and the outside grounds. Both of her siblings were duly impressed with the facility. Aunt Melmarie just loved dining room and the nearness of BG to the Mother House (word to the wise). Mom said that she herself was very "happy with Brighton Gardens", its easy access to daily Mass, the prettiness of its landscaping and garden paths. Of course, throughout the evening, I reinforced her new found views of BG and AL care in general.

After dinner, Uncle Bob called to chat with Mom. She told him of her morning visit to BG but then just said she'd tell him more about the place later. She then asked him if he wanted to say hello to "his older brother" and asked me to pick up the other phone. She then went out for a solo walk before it got too dark while I talked with Uncle Bob. After he reminded me that I was his little brother, I filled him in on the morning's happenings because he had not yet heard of them. Needless to say, he was quite relieved, is fully supportive and offers any assistance necessary. Upon Mom's return from her walk, we pleasantly chatted for the rest of the evening while I put on a fashion show trying on some of Dad's clothes that she desires to clean out. Then, I retired to the guest room for a few hours of shut-eye before for heading to the office.

Where do we go from here? In no particular order, here is what I suggest...

- Move forward with the all of the procedures for Mom's entry into Brighton Gardens. Mom asked whether or not we had actually turned in her name for application into BG. I told her that we had taken the preliminary steps and that we would proceed with the process. Levelle and Quinn, please carry on with a formal application. Call on me and others for whatever assistance is needed.

- Reinforce the benefits of BG that Mom is already grasping. She readily spoke of those stated above while I pointed others that she had yet to consider.

- Don't worry about spreading the news of Mom's change of heart and mind. Tell family and friends about it as soon as possible. They can be quite helpful with the transition for Mom. Maybe suggest that they, if possible, let her bring up the subject first but to go ahead and do so themselves if needed. Example: Mom brought up the subject to her longtime friend Millie Beese whom she called after dinner tonight. Mom had providentially seen Millie during Mass at the Mother House Sunday morning but didn't get a chance to talk to her. Millie told Mom that she herself was looking into such a move whereby Mom offered to take her on a tour of Brighton Gardens in the very near future. Near the end of this girl chat, I got on the phone to say hi to Millie (her deceased husband was my former boss). Millie assured me that she would take Mom up on her tour offer and said she would follow up with Mom this week.

I'll close for now by extending my heartfelt thanks to my sisters and brothers for bringing to fruition our desires for Mom's well being. Though it was a trying time, I love you all for the combined efforts in the struggle.

Love, Danny

ps - I called Paul on Sunday night to let him know of Mom's decision and asked him to touch base with me after Monday morning's trip to Mass. I had spent late Friday evening fully filling him in on her state of affairs. He will continue to pick up Mom for daily Mass until she relocates.

pps - Mom misplaced her reserve cash yesterday morning. She had taken it all out of the normal spot before Mass, transferred $26.00 to her purse but then stashed the rest somewhere between bedroom and dining room. Does anybody know the approximate sum that was on hand Friday or Saturday. I'll replenish the reserve late Monday if not located earlier.