Nuff Said...

Close call with disaster and a letter from St. Mary's

My day with Mom today. She was feeling very "strange" and weak, and I really had to urge her to have lunch. After lunch I talked her into going for a ride to enjoy the changing leaves. I was envisioning a trip up Dulaney Valley Road, and maybe through Loch Raven. As soon as we started Mom said she'd like to visit Emily. No problem. Too bad Emily wasn't home. Mom suggested that since we were close, she'd like a quick trip to the cemetery. No problem. Of course, as we approached she remembered that she heard some kind of service might be soon. Thanks, Uncle Jim, for giving her something to fret over. I gave her the details and told her Uncle Jim was picking her up to take her. (Right?)

It was too blustery to stay long, so after a quick trip to the altar she was ready to go. We headed up Charles Street, me thinking a shorter trip through Ruxton might be pretty. When we got to Stevenson Lane, Mom cried, "Turn here! (sniff, sniff) I'd like to see the... house." I asked if she was sure she wanted to do that, and she said, "As long as there isn't a For Sale sign." So we went. As we drove there I assured her that we'd been taking care of it, that we put out a few halloween decorations. I debated whether or not I would lie about not having a key should she want to go inside. In case she did want to go in, I filled her in that we had gone through lots of clothes and that Levelle was taking them to St. V de P.

It must of been my prayer to Dad when we were at the cemetery, because Mom seemed perfectly happy to just look at the house from her seat in the car. Or maybe it was a good thing she was feeling too weak. I had to explain that the car in the driveway was Paul's, that he was driving her car... I did gently say that we ought to think of doing something with the house soon. (A few minutes later she suggested that my daughter should live there after she finishes school this year. Sorry, Michael. You snooze, you lose :) Anyhow, the drive-by wasn't as bad as I feared. Maybe somewhere down the road she could handle a visit inside. Or not.

Regarding the letter from St. Mary's, it reads:

On Sunday, Nov. 2nd, St. Mary Parish will be celebrating its 159th Anniversary. As is our custom we will combine the regular 10 am and 12 noon Masses and hold a special Anniversary Mass at 10:30 am in St. Mary's Cemetery.

Since this year our anniversary coincides with All Soul's Day we are taking this opportunity to engage in a special remembrance of our recently deceased parishioners. The parish will remember our deceased sisters and brothers who have died the past two years. At the Prayer of the Faithful the names of each deceased will be called in thanksgiving for their presence in our lives.

We invite you, your family, relatives and friends to join us for this special Mass at St. Mary's Cemetery on Homeland Avenue, the site of the original church. We will also use this opportunity to dedicate our two new columbaria which were installed this summer. A reception will follow in the adjacent K of C Hall. In the event of inclement weather the Mass will be held at [the church] with the reception in the church hall.

We look forward to your presence... (yada, yada)

(P.S. call the church office after 3 on Saturday if the weather is questionable 410-435-5900)

End of letter. Any of you plan on going?

Michael - Last Call for Clothes

Michael, we're saving you a light blue fishing hat of Dad's. Do you want anything else, clothes-wise, I mean?

Speak now or forever hold your peace.

Peace,
Lel

This weekend

Anybody want to meet at the house this weekend to figure out what to do with all of the stuff?

If nothing else, I think it is time to get any valuables out. Clothes? Dishes? Un-assigned stuff? Drink the beer? Eat the scrapple?

Nice Visit

I had a nice visit with Mom yesterday. Quinn and I met there (solidarity breeds courage, but turns out, no courage needed.) Mom was just getting back from a walk. We sat in the lobby living room and pretended there was a fire (that would have been great on this chilly morning!) I brought a bunch of Beanie Babies to donate as Bingo prizes so we had fun choosing a few for Mom's room before handing them in. We convinced Mom to go out for lunch to Nautilus Diner. After a trip to the store, I went back with her to play Bingo - I won the $4 game but had to split it with 3 other winners.

It's funny to talk with her and see what she remembers. Her recount of the Emmitsburg trip with Megan on Friday were sketchy and different from reality. She hangs on to some things like a steel trap, but forgets other things instantly. I think I blog so the world will remember that I visited, because Mom might not by tomorrow. But she's so happy in the moment to have some company, that it's fun to be with her. She told me that her friends have been wonderful about visiting, too, in addition to all of you local sibs.

Few notes:

• I bought Mom new reading glasses (pink wire frames, +2.25) but I'm not sure they are the right strength. She lost hers and therefore doesn't know what day it is because she can't read the paper without glasses. On the next treasure hunt through her room, be sure to look for her real glasses. Toss out any lemonade you find.
• Mom was having a hard time finding one-dollar bills for Bingo. I didn't go through her wallet - maybe she has a bunch. Or maybe a bank run is necessary?
• I used Quinn's advice and let Mom be the one to operate the elevator even if it took a few seconds for her to remember to push the button until a light comes on. Hopefully she's not getting stuck in the elevator too much.
• House plans? I don't want the locals to have to deal with that all winter. Everybody should start thinking about what to do with their part of the legacy. During Michael's visit home at Christmas we should defintely take the time to divide up the unassigned stuff. Quinn, don't you know a local kid we could pay to take care of the yard and shoveling? Any other ideas for renting it out?

Take care all, TTYL
Lel

Happy Birthday!

Happy 21st Birthday to Shannon and Leland. Thank God they both have the good sense to celebrate in a very restrained fashion.

My visit with Mom today was not bad. Only a few tears were shed as she struggled to express whatever thoughts vanished before she could come up with the words. And I had to work hard to convince her that, yes, she was going to be one of Dr. Lavin's privileged few patients. She wasn't satisfied until she urged me to call Quinn to make sure. Thanks for answering your phone, Quinn. Mom was so happy when I left, she must have hugged me four times on the way out. She was then overjoyed to find that Bingo was just starting. (It was by then 5 p.m. I hope she stopped playing long enough to have dinner.) Tomorrow, of course, is another day. It remains to be seen if she will still remember about Lavin.

One thing did have me totally confused when she was telling me about the doctor visit. She kept insisting that a Lavin had a woman in the office who had lots of good quality clothes that she was selling or giving away. There were several things that Mom was interested in, but she didn't have any money and left without them. She hopes Quinn got them. Anybody have a clue what she's referring to?

And do any of you know of any plans Mom has for Friday. I offered to take her for a country drive to Emmitsburg, and she liked the idea.

When Life Gives you Lemons, Make Lemonade...

... but whatever you do, don't drink the lemonade at Mom's.

Quinn will probably be blogging later, but I know she's running around today. Just a quick update I got from her earlier. The Doctor's appointment went well. Dr Lavin explained all the details of his concierge service, which will cost a relatively low $1,500 a year. Mom really likes him, so it seems like a bargain. Also, Quinn will have access to all records on-line so she can monitor for mistakes, etc. If Quinn can get Dr. Lavin to take Mom's vitamin pills off his orders at Brighton Gardens, Mom will save $13 a day and more than cover the cost of Dr. Lavin. We can give Mom her vitamins at least 5 days a week.

Mom mentioned to Quinn in the doctor's office, that she thought she might be needing a urine sample, so she had done one back at BG. Upon return to the room, Quinn searched high and low to no avail. It wasn't until half way home that she realized she forgot to look in the refrigerator.

So you've all been warned :)

PS: Quinn tells the story way funnier than I have recounted here. I was laughing so hard, she almost made me ... never mind - TMI.

Keep smiling folks!
Lel

I don't even knowwhat to title this...

Hello fellow sprinkles! The good news from Baltimore (and I hope I'm not jinxing things) is that Mom hasn't had any spells in the last two weeks. The bad news is that she doesn't seem to be rebounding from her last hospital stay very well. She's no longer on the ALZ meds and she just seems dazed and confused to me. Her words aren't coming to her. I don't even notice her whistling either. She just seems really sad. :-( Today, I asked her if she knows what she wants to say in her head but can't make the words come out or if she just can't remember the words. She said that she knows what she wants to say, but that by the time she comes up with the word, the thought has left her. She said that she never thought her life would end this way. Not that she would do anything to hasten things, but when she dies...she doesn't want us to be sad. :-(

She's had a rough couple of days because of the impending doctor's appt on Monday. You know how she gets fixated on things, well she has tried to walk to the doctor's and gone over to the Mother House several times trying to check on the appointment or go to it. She was so upset yesterday that they called Melmarie down to calm her. (bet that helped ;-) ) Memarie was able to get her calmed enough to get her back to her appt last night. When I arrived this afternoon, Mom had not signed out but was no where to be found. I decided to check the Mother House and sure enough, she was there. Melmarie had her up in her room. Mom had gotten upset at Mass and tried to leave. Melmarie followed her and took her upstairs. Melmarie was happy to see my children, and Mom seemed pleased. So I decided to use them to get Mom back to BGT - so that Mom could see the decorations that we put up in her room (since it was unlocked). On the way past my car, I did get Mom's hairdryer out of the trunk since it was in the "camping box" that she left at the front desk for the people doing the show over there that way. (exact words from the front desk lady) Her bathing habits are leaving something to be desired :-O . I suggested that we set up a bath appt for her so that she would be fresh for her appt tomorrow, but that was turned down. My offer to help her in the shower (eek!) was turned down also. So I'm not even sure that she'll be needing the hairdryer, but at least it's there. Umm...good luck tomorrow Quinn ;-) .

Here are a few random thoughts/questions that I've had the last few days:

• How did God's name did Mom's wedding garter get moved with her to BGT and why?!?
• Does Paul really need the 6 inch O'C hat pin that was also moved to BGT and what would he do with it?!?
• How long can raisin bread be stored in a pair of tennis shoes before going bad?
• Why does Mom keep taking the shoe laces out of her shoes?
• Did I really offer to help her in the shower?!?!?
• I cleaned out the cabinets and pantry at Mom's this afternoon. Do you think salad dressing really needs an expiration date?!? Is dressing from 2004 still good?
• Why are bills being sent to Mom at her new address from OmniHealth? (I've got three that I found, who knows how many more there are.)
• When you talk to Mom, please remind her to push the buttons when she gets in the elevator. She's been in there three times today when the "electricity has gone out"
• Please don't wind the clock when you get to her room. It hasn't been working since the last time someone did. Don't worry, I was able to plug it back in and "fix it".

So sorry for the bummer of a post, I hope the last section made you smile a little because that's all we can do. This is a terrible disease and she is in a horrible position now where she knows that she can't remember things. But we have wonderful memories and we can still make more - they're just not the ones we planned on.

Keep smiling and praying - Love to all - Levelle

Today wasn't too bad...

My visit today (Wednesday) turned out to be pretty good. Mrs. Rafferty was visiting when I arrived, so we missed Mass. Mrs. R. promised to return next week. The good thing about her being there was that I didn't get too much chance to go through Danny's camping supplies. Many of the items that I did notice, however, I didn't even recognize as being Mom's. I hope she doesn't have someone else's laundry.

Mrs. Rafferty's visit lasted long enough that Mom couldn't get a good seat for the 12:30 lunch. So she took me up on my offer to go to the mall. While we were sharing a subway sub (Mom couldn't believe the prices and almost wanted to leave without eating anything!), Mrs. Grant (from St. Mary's/Rosebank) and her daughter Debbie happened by. So we all ate together, and Mom and Mrs. Grant had a great visit. Debbie said we should do this again sometime soon, which would be great except that Mrs. Grant repeated several times that she would never be moving from Rosebank. I don't think we should let them hang out together. Those Grants were always a bad influence :) (kidding!)

In case anyone is interested in a Grant family update (pay attention here, you smokers):

• Mr. Grant died from lung cancer ages ago, when the kids were young.
• Meg and Jamie have had heart bypass already. Meg is a year younger than Leland if I remember correctly.
• And Robbie had a brain aneurysm earlier this year. All of these issues are smoking related.
  

Enough lecturing. Does anyone care if I go through the Yarmouth pantry and take the canned and boxed foods to my church's food pantry? They've been begging, but then I imagine all our local parishes would be happy to have some. Maybe you local folks could meet me there one day, and we can weed the garden and the pantry together. Wouldn't that be fun??!

Later, sprinkles.

Not bad, not great

Spent a lot of the day yesterday with Mom. As seems to be her pattern lately, she started out pretty sad, tearful, and frustrated. We work through it by just letting her talk and I listen. It seems to be the best way to handle her frustration right now. It does not seem to help to try to explain or reason with her. One example... She has a box packed and when I asked why she explained that Danny would need it for a hunting trip he is taking. The contents included 1 tennis shoe and sock, 1 pair of of black suede shoes (they'll look adorable with his Sunday best flannel shirt!), her white underwear, a bra!, dish towels, toothpaste, peanut butter, and miscellaneous perishable items( I don't know how long this box has been packed, but I would be very cautious with the fruit salad and jelly!) Initially, I tried to explain why he probably wouldn't need some of these items, but she insisted I leave it alone. I did manage to sneak her shoes back in the closet. By the time mass and lunch rolled around, she was in better spirits.
The high point of the day was when I told her that Dylan was being inducted in to the NHS(slight brag ) that night. She was so excited about it that I asked her if she would like to go. Not only did she say she would love to go, she was going to wash her hair right after bingo! She looked great and was ready to go when I arrived to get her. She had also given the details to the nun at the front desk. It made my night!
I wish every day could be like this. Unfortunately, Uncle Jim didn't have as much luck on Sunday. Suffice it to say, they were both in tears by the end of his visit. He is so good to Mom.
Anyway, tifn,
Go gently, Q

Happy Day II

Well, after consultation with Megan, we decided to 'go for it'. We were afraid that if Mom remembered the significance of the day AFTER it had passed, it would have depressed her all the more so.
I called Mom first to see if she was 'up' for a visit. She sounded upbeat and asked if I would please stay for dinner. (...just put it on my tab). Upon arrival, she returned my "Happy Day" greeting with a kiss and then asked what day it was. In reply to my answered "Thursday... October 2nd", she simply said in a cheerful manner that it seemed to be a date of some sort of importance.
On the way to BG, I had swung by 627 to pick up their wedding album and also chose another '61-'68 family photo album. We sat for about an hour flipping through the albums and Mom, with assistance, happily reminisced. Then we went outside for a couple of passes around her walking circuit before dinner. Stuart, she fondly recollects your recent hike with her and how smart you were to figure out which neighboring houses are seen from her pathway. Don't get too swelled a head... I told her that they taught you that kind of stuff in college ;-).
Dinner was...umm... interesting. We shared a table with Bob & Jean, a friendly married couple whose room is just around the corner from Mom on the 3rd floor. In striking up a conversation with them, it was apparent to me that Mom had never conversed with them before. I think that besides being shy by nature, Mom is a bit self conscience about the state of her communication skills. She'll do the whistle thing with us but will hold back conversing much with unfamiliar folks. Once common interests were discovered though (i.e. trips to Ireland & bingo), their conversation rolled more freely.
We ended the evening with Mom telling me that I'd better get the photo 'books' back to the library before they closed ;-)
Love, Danny
p.s. Lel, thanks so much for the Halloween care package! Shappy was having a rough week, it gave her a cheerful boost and she very much appreciates your kindness.

For the record...

... it's pronounced Nu-klee-ar

Not Nu-Ku-Lar.

You betcha!

Happy Day!

Happy Anniversary to Mom and Dad! (is that appropriate?)

Who remembers the surprise anniversary party we held in the basement - what year was it?

Have a great day all!