Happy birthday Stuart!

Everyone else passed their best wishes through Trudy on Facebook but I am going straight to the source (while still saving on the cost of a card, postage or a call). I hope it's a great one.

Happy Birthday, Dad!

How'd ya like the present we sent this year?

Happy Easter!

Hope Danny feels better soon! Emergency appendectomies are no fun. I had one once a long, long time ago :)

Eulogy

One thing I know for sure – it is a happy, happy day in heaven. Doesn’t matter how much sadness or loss we feel here, it is far eclipsed by the happiness in heaven today.

For those of you who don’t know me, I am Levelle’s oldest daughter, Leland. I wanted to take a few minutes to share some thoughts about mom and her life and times.

When I think about mom’s life it falls into 4 sections. First, her young life as the youngest daughter of Bill and Mary Gentry. Mom told us once that she wasn’t a good little girl, but I seriously doubt it. From all the pictures we have, I imagine she was doted on somewhat by a loving family as a child. Starting in 1949, Mom kept a daily diary, so I know she had a wonderful teenage life filled with many, many friends and even boyfriends. That circle of friends has remained close even to this day supporting each other through thick and thin always. Mom always treasured these friendships!
From Mom’s diaries, we know the exact day she met Dad. July 8, 1951. And in time, the second part of her life began as a young wife and mother. This is also the time when mom’s dedication to being a care giver really kicked into gear. First of all she cared for us. She had 7 children under the age of 9 by the time she was 31, with one more to come 4 years later. We enjoyed a childhood full of simple pleasures: Summers at the pool, Ocean City vacations, home-cooked family meals and watching Jeopardy every night. There were homemade dresses and haircuts, too. A house filled with brothers and sisters, all revolving around mom. Mom was a superstar and gave us the right mix of care, guidance and independence.

Secondly, she cared for Dad. Let me give a few of his own words:


Thirdly, she cared for her extended family. Grandmom Smith came to live with us in 1970 and stayed for 6 years. Someone at the funeral home told me that her mother was friends with Grandmom Smith and everyone knew Mom was a saint to take her in. But mom didn’t act like a saint. She just acted like this was what we do, and we should move over and make room. And we did.

You could always tell that Grandmom Gentry was on her mind. In a letter to my mom, Grandmom Gentry said, “I would never have lived as long as I have had not my “right hand” been there to run errands, shopped, cleaned, took care of everything without my asking.” Mom also took care of Grandmom’s friends, Margaret Wigman, Nellie, and many others. People from the church …Mrs. Durkee …. Our house was a family hub as Mom always hosted dinners, with grandparents, aunts, uncles, added to our already large family.

Mom supported and partnered with dad in charitable works, of which we only know a small part, although it was a big part of their life. You all probably know personal kindnesses even more than we do. Because they didn’t come home and brag, they just did it.

As our family grew, mom began the third phase of her life: being a grandmother. Literally, nothing gave her more joy than a hug from a grandchild. Of course, Mom cared for her grandchildren like none other – I think she preferred to babysit rather than just visit, because then she would have the grandchildren all to herself. Again, the simple joys were lavished on these off-sprinkles: walks to the park, lemon cookies, and picnics in the backyard, watching The Price is Right, sharing PB&J, perfect eggs and toast every morning, Christmas and Thanksgiving massive gatherings. As always, Mom was caring and caring for others.

Sadly for mom, she finally entered the final stage of her life – a life that was complicated by Alzheimer’s disease. Although she never slapped me in my whole life, she’d probably slap me for saying this, but in fact, her Alzheimer’s was like a gift to us. It gave us a chance to return some of her love in a tangible way. It brought out the best in people. My wonderful brothers and absolutely amazing sisters who demonstrated their love for mom everyday…her friends who visited faithfully… last year’s birthday her face lit up when Mrs. Leonard came in… Mom’s grandchildren visiting doing what they could to make sure Granny was happy… the dedication of her siblings and her extended family. Stuart and I were just talking earlier this week about the fact that Mom had more visitors than anyone else at Arden Courts. We always were a competitive family and looks like we won again.

What was surprising to me was that even as her disease progressed, mom never lost her instinct to care for others. She always wanted to comfort fellow residents who seemed distressed. She was happiest when helping to set up for an activity.

What do I want you to remember about mom: she raised us and then she raised us up.

To honor my mom, what could we do? Let me give you my Dad’s advice in his own words…..

… Live a life of greater faith. Accept what God sends into your life with courage, grace and dignity. Help a friend whenever you can. Mom never said “let me know what I can do.” She just did it. Emulate her in everything you do.

Please accept the heartfelt thanks from my siblings and me for all the visits, caring words and thoughts and prayers. Thanks to all the nurses and aides who helped Mom so compassionately over the past years. May God bless you and keep you in health and continued happiness.

As I said, it is a happy, happy day in heaven. There’s a party going on up there. They are probably having Chicken Divan, green beans, fruit compote and some dessert for sure. Everybody is having a cocktail, except for Mom of course. She didn’t drink alcohol. Everyone is having coffee, except for Mom of course. She didn’t drink coffee. As a matter of fact, mom is not even at the table. She is doing the dishes. And she is a very happy angel.

So what do we do now?

First, I should thank all of you for taking care of Mom, her finances, all the visits, keeping her friends in touch, arranging the mass, thank you notes, etc., etc., etc. Despite Quinn's disappearance when we needed her the most (you know we wouldn't tease you if we didn't love you), you all were fantastic. Lel, do you want to post your eulogy of Mom here? Danny, how about Dad's? Just a thought. BTW, for those who didn't hear: I was holding the door for people as they were leaving the back of the church to head down to the hall. I waited until the last people were out then found myself walking behind two ladies from the choir. I overheard one of them saying to the other "Oh my. I didn't even know her and I was crying". It's a shame she didn't. On a completely different thought, how many of you put two spaces after a period when you type a sentence on your PC? I have done it after every sentence since Mom drilled it into me when I used her typewriter to do a report in the 6th or 7th grade. Only recently I found out that the proper usage is only one space for PCs. Two were used for typewriters because all the letters took up the same space so there was a lot of half spaces next to the thin letters "i" & "l". Two spaces were needed after sentences to make a more significant visual break. Computers don't need that so one space is the proper usage. How come Mom never taught me that, huh?? I think of her now after every sentence that I have to correct.