Yesterday was an typical odd day at mom's, from what I understand.
I think it's time to get advice from outside our circle. Quinn's going to call Father Art and I will talk to Uncle Bob.
It is such a dilemma: not only is mom faced with inceasing memory problems of which she refuses to admit the severity, but she's so depressed for many reasons (Dad, car, memory problems, etc.). I doubt she will seek help for depression.
If we coerce her into AL, the situation could possibly improve in the long run but I imagine the depression would be worse short term. However, her physical health would be maintained and, her frustration level at everyday difficulties (like losing EVERYTHING) could improve. If we leave her in her house, and cover like we are now, we'd be lucky to see any improvement.
And none of us has fallen far from the sprinklers. Our stress level and anxiety increases all the time. Pretty sure none of you will seek personal help until something drastic happens personally.
Maybe we aren't considering all the alternatives. Maybe someone outside the sprinkles could help get counseling or act as a counselor. If you have any resources, feel free to reach out. I'll keep you posted what I find out and would appreciate hearing from others. By the time Michael and Melanie get here, let's plan on gathering all possible options.
Peace, Lel, JF
Outsprinkles
These are the people whose love and support get us through each day and who we owe so much. They also helped a little producing......
Almost all of the Offsprinkles
8 comments:
Lel, I've been meaning to 'reach out' to a friend of mine who has much personal elderly care experience. I'll do so now and be back to you over the next day or two.
Quinn, Might you be able to ask Fr. Art whether or not he could give Mom some GOOD news for a change? T'would do her a world of good if Fr. could tell her that a "Promoters Spot" has been reserved for purchase in the columbaria as soon as their sales are authorized. I was thinking of petitioning him for the spot in the top row, nearest the altar, of the columbarium that is on the right hand side of altar (*when viewed looking at altar from statue of Blessed Mother and Dad's current digs).
Cheerbye, Danny
I have to admit that I have been a bit concerned with the physical and emotional health of all of you. No doubt that this has been, in so many ways, the worst month of my life. At times I have felt really sad and really old. And I am not there much to help out, so I imagine that it can be a lot worse.
Let's take advantage of whatever resources we can. And take care of yourself.
Is it too early to start researching limited home health assistance as an alternative, in case the ALF option doesn't pan out in a reasonable time?
No help here really...
I know that we could continue to do as we are (visiting several times a day) but what happens when she gets worse? (health and mental) An ALF may confuse her more and make her more depressed. (I wish this wasn't the case, because I really feel like is could help her IF she would let it, which I think she never will) In home assistance may just confuse her also if she does not care for having a stranger around trying to help her. (not just with cleaning and finding things, but in the not too distant future help with bathing, toileting and feeding)
It's my thought that her brothers are the only ones who can tell her that she is losing her memory and that it would be a good idea to consider her options now. She trusts them and they are authoritative figures to her. We are her children and she doesn't want us worrying or helping. "She can handle it herself." Any moving suggestions have only fallen on deaf ears or gotten her agitated. Any decision we make for her will have repercussions because she wants to stay put as is. But staying just isn't a good long term option for her or us.
I've envisioned the group of us discussing it with her and it makes me too sad. She will be looking at all of the people she loves most in the world telling her that she isn't making good decisions and so we are going to make one for her. Heartbreaking.
Each option has pluses and minuses. Everyday is different and everyday brings about a new, hopeful game plan. Sorry I'm not more help, I just dont' think we'll ever know for sure what the right answer is.
Love always, Levelle
Is there any chance the Aricept is going to help? Is its purpose merely to slow the progression of Alzheimers? I know, I should get online and do the research myself.
I, too, don't like the idea of all of us confronting her together. I would love it if uncles Bob and Jim could help her see reason.
What is donepezil?
Donepezil improves the function of nerve cells in the brain. It works by preventing the breakdown of a chemical called acetylcholine (ah see til KO leen). People with dementia usually have lower levels of this chemical, which is important for the processes of memory, thinking, and reasoning.
Donepezil is used to treat mild to moderate dementia caused by Alzheimer's disease.
http://health.yahoo.com/alzheimers-medications/donepezil-oral/healthwise--d04099a1.html
Has anyone suggested to Mom that Aunt Melmarie could move in with her to help around the house and drive? This should sort out her thinking quickly.
BTW, I know I joke a lot but that is one of the few things I can offer from here. It doesn't always even help me though. I was having dinner tonight with all the partners to celebrate our best year ever. They kind of made me go. It wasn't too pleasant when I started bawling in the middle of dessert. Good thing it was after the main course because the meal and wine was $360/person. You would have thought I'd enjoy it.
Michael, I can't wait to read the blog every morning to see what you have to say. Your levity is keeping me sane! Can't wait to see you guys,
Lel
Michael, just keep thinking how much fun you are going to have with mom for two weeks straight ;-)!!!
BTW, I loved your entry in the Sun Paper's guest book!
Love, Levelle
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