It occurred to me.....

Thinking back on the phone conversations I've had with Mom over the past two weeks, as I noted previously, I thought she sounded stronger and clearer than she has in the past year. Of course, I usually do speak to her before noon so maybe this explains some of why I get a different impression of her status. The other bigger reason is obviously that I don't see her everyday, like many of you, trying to do things more complicated than chatting on the phone. She has always been good at that.

One other big difference between recent calls and those from more than three weeks ago is that she ends every conversation by saying "I love you". I don't think I've ever heard her say that before to anyone but Dad. She's not confused either because she also adds "give Melanie a hug for me".

It never bothered me that she hadn’t said that before because I was always certain that she did all that she did because she loved all of us. That included everything from ironing school shirts, adding powered sugar to pound cakes, making us all share two medium fries on our biennial trip to McDonalds, grounding us for fighting, spending the extra money to get us through good schools, making us go to places like Williamsburg for summer vacation instead of Ocean City, continuing to have four more kids to do the housework after she already had the older ones for fun, etc.

Sometimes love means making tough choices. But it always means making the wisest choices that are possible. Keep the faith and keep thinking.

Love & gratitude to all, Michael

blogging

For those who have created Google accounts for blogging (which is easy to do) and want to add posts and comments here under their own name here, you have to add yourself as a contributor to this blog first, after logging in with the FB user name. You'll then get an e-mail to activate your ability to be a contributor here. Alternatively, just send me (at msmith_... ) the e-mail address that you used to get your google account and I'll do it for you. I think you also have to be logged in as FB if you want to add photos. Alternatively, send them to me and I'll do that too. Love, gratitude and admiration to all.

• Feed the homeless.
• Shelter the imprisoned.
• Visit the hungry.
• Clothe the thirsty.
• Have drinks with the naked.
• But most importantly, care for the sick because we have already done the other one.

Bigger family

Here is one thing I may be able to help with from a distance. I believe Stuart has been talking to Uncle Jim about legal things but has anyone been keeping Uncle Bob, Aunt Melmarie and Uncle Jim fully informed of what is going on with Mom and what we are thinking? I know it's a completely different situation with Dad taking care of Mom until the bit about "until death do us part" but there was considerable fallout when Uncle Bill was put into the assisted living place. I don't want family thinking we are packing Mom off because we don't want to be bothered. It's about as far from that as possible. Should I talk to them to make sure they know just how much Dad was doing for Mom and how much help she needs?

One other thing - I got a recommendation for Arden Care out on Bellona Avenue at Kenilworth. I can't say I like their website and I don't think there is a church that is walking distance but they are supposed to have outstanding Alzheimer's care. Jenny McDonough's mother-in-law is there. Just a thought in case other places are still being considered and if it has not been thought of before. Peace and love to all. You are doing what is needed, depressing as it may be, and your efforts are still an act of love.

My update from afar...

First, I just had a very brief conversation with Mom; Melanie talked to her on Friday and Alex had lunch with her Saturday. No major senior moments but a fair bit of forgotten words. If Stuart is really running 10 miles a day, then I am really impressed with him; but also for Mom knowing that.

I have been reading up on the Brighton Gardens of Towson website and that looks quite good. I must have passed it a dozen times whenever I am in Baltimore but I didn't even know it was there. Good job Levelle & Quinn (and whoever else was involved). I like the description of the progressive Alzheimer’s care but I didn't see much in terms of what the apartments/ rooms are like but I trust your judgment.

Finally, I know I come in last place in being helpful in Baltimore but do I at least win any prizes for being the first to figure out how to blog under my own name?

Nice Chat

I just had a nice chat with mom. She still sounds better than she has in months but, then again, she didn't mention anything about Dynamo cookies with whiter whites and brighter colors. She mentioned she had a tiff with Quinn but she only said that followed immediately by "I hope she is not mad at me". Since Quinn is playing the tough guy I said that I had heard that she (Quinn) was a little worried that Mom wasn't eating enough. She said "well you may not know it but I HATE cooking. Levelle, bless her heart, brought over a dozen (15?) individually packed meals.... other than those, I just eat a little here and there because I don't want to cook". I said how Mrs. Rodrigues hated cooking too and only ate one full meal a day so her doctor had her drink Ensure every day. She said that was "good idea, Grandmom used to drink that too. Maybe I should get some". Next time I think I'll have the McDonalds jingle playing in the background. Maybe her subconscious will tell her she's hungry. Peace & love, Michael, CPA, MF :D

I blog, therefore I am. I chatted with Stuart today and he filled me in on some stuff that I didn't know about driving and eating etc. so I am even more apologetic than before. What can I say? I'm a pill. One other thing: Mom still does not remember my old drinking problem. Please don't remind her. In some small ways and times, Alzheimers can be a blessing.