I'm sure you've all heard it before..."Alzheimer's is so hard on the family" or "this disease must be so hard for you".
But really, I would like to point out a few of the high points that Mom's disease has brought to us. This Blog has been so much fun to write and follow. We really are a witty bunch of folks. Dad would be proud. It's wonderful to catch up with Danny and Paul every week. (I've now probably seen them more in this past year than I had in the past 5 put together). It's good to see how devoted to Mom Paul is. (ask him to do anything for her and he will...except perhaps pluck those dag on chin hairs) It's nice to see how devoted to Paul Mom is. (invariably she remembers to ask him about his job or to tell him that Mary's no good for him. She remembers to worry about him) I've learned to live in her moment. I like to see her happy to see Danny when she thinks he's Dad. I'm sure it's a little creepy for Danny, but it really makes her happy. I also like it when my sisters visit Mom and when she comments about what a lovely visit they had, they make a point to mention that "it's a shame Levelle wasn't here to share in it". Lucky for me, Mom's memory is short and that snarky comment was probably forgotten before they pulled out of the driveway ;-p .
I like to hear her tell stories (or at least try to). I wonder where her mind will lead to or to what decade. She may not remember the recent stuff (like dinner with Ben and Twitter on Thursday night) but she enjoys trying to tell stories. Recently Uncle Ed and Aunt Helen have been on her mind. Mom will start to talk about them and then the rest of us will fill in with stories that we remember. It's nice to reminisce (while we still can ;-) ) I've also learned the art of location. Location you ask? Yes, location. Like when sitting outside with Mom on a hot Sunday afternoon, it's good to be located next to her rather than across from her. That way you can make gagging faces when she rolls up her pants legs "to get some sun" only to begin scratching her psoriasis spots and letting the flesh fly. (Gagging still!) Or location as in, make sure someone else sits next to her at Mass because Mom's "aroma" can really get pungent when in a confined space like a church pew. But dang if she doesn't still remember all of the prayers. That should bring her some peace.
It's nice to see how loved Mom is by all of her friends. There are a few who are quite devoted to Mom and it shows what a good friend she was to them. They visit often even though she doesn't seem to think they do or remember that they do. But I can tell that they've been there when I see some home made treat in the fridge (or hidden in her night stand) or when I am doing laundry and see several new items of clothes from Talbots. (I'm sure these are from Mrs. Lawrence). Mom and Dad spent their lives helping/serving others. It's heartwarming to see that others appreciated what they did. I hope I've got good friends to visit me when I get ALZ. So that's it for me, what about you?
Love to all - Levelle
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Outsprinkles
These are the people whose love and support get us through each day and who we owe so much. They also helped a little producing......
Almost all of the Offsprinkles
8 comments:
It sure is an altertered state of reality. For me, it is important to remember that however upset Mom is at the moment, at least she won't stay that way for long. Reminds me of when John was young and I would take him to daycare. He would cry when I dropped him off and cry when I picked him up. The only person who was really miserable all day was me!
I don't care that she doesn't remember that we visit for 2 reasons: she is so happy when we are there, usually :) and she doesn't remember when I don't visit.
You know that thing we supposedly learned in kindergarten: hold hands and stick together! Will do.
Lel
Twas said so well, Lel & Levelle. One revision request Lev?: 2nd paragraph, 4th sentence, change "would be" to "is" ;-). I am.
Love, 'Dad'
Just as there is 'safety in numbers,' so there is sanity. Can you even imagine being an only child and facing this (being responsible for mom's care) alone? Thanks for inspiring this reflection, Levelle.
I'll be going to see Mom after PT tomorrow (Weds.), and we'll hopefully make it to noon Mass. You probably won't see me on Sunday (though maybe later in the afternoon). Leland's visa application was finally approved. Keep your fingers crossed that the USPS gets it here in time. She has scheduled a Sunday afternoon flight. Classes start on Monday.
By the way... The tree with the large red berries (fruits?) on BG's patio is a Kousa dogwood. And it is a good thing we plucked that berry out of Quinn's mouth. Devra says that not even birds or animals eat those fruits, so she assumes it is poisonous. I'll do some research in my spare time (ha ha).
From Wiki:
The fruit is a globose pink to red compound berry 2-3 cm diameter, though these berries tend to grow larger towards the end of the season and some berry clusters that do not fall from the tree surpass 4 cm. It is edible, a delicious addition to the tree's ornamental value.
Megan, now you can use your spare time to make a kousa pie.
Shane and I are coming up Sunday morning to attend the Ravens game. We will go ny Mom's afterward and then see her again on Monday before we head back.
We might miss you all, but we'll be back shortly.
FYI, I told Quinn to bring Mom over after mass today to have lunch and watch the game ;-). Danny's got something to do with Shannon today, so he's just staying for mass. Megan is bidding farewell to Leland. I left a message for Paul. Stuart, you're welcome to come back here after the game. We're not doing anything else today.
Go Ravens!!!
So Shane and I took Mom to lunch at the diner and then for a ride through north Towson. She seemed happy and interested in it all.
She only got a bit perturbed when I told her that her hair looked nice and asked if she had help from the girls. She was very foreceful that she does her hair herself.
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